||[06 Nov 2004|01:06pm]
1. Who did you last get angry with?
stevie. more frustrated than angry but eh.
2. What is your weapon of choice?
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
yeah, but i'd full well expect to get hit back.
4. How about of the same sex?
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
6. What is your pet peeve?
people who pretend to give a shit.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
um, i can sleep right through... :-/
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
i am a lame excuse man.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
dun use my alarm clock.
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
i dun like that cocktails cost so much. mmm... japanese slipper :)
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
white. BUT NO FUCKING PORK.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
i have no idea. way too much though :s and i plan to do the same tonight :)
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
no. i thought that would be quite clear.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH"?
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
um... 7 i think.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
ah, yes.yes :$
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
back, hands, eyes, cock, goatie
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
1. How many credit cards do you own?
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
any bar/pub :p
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
endless supply of credit and sexy clothes and fake tan
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
famous - you'd get free stuff anyway ;)
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
i dun download.
1. What's one thing you've done that you're most proud of?
um, nothing jumps out.
2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
3. What's one thing that you would like to accomplish in your life?
i think i want to get married. but properley and do it all properley and not cheat or get cheated on.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
coming is coming ;)
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
confessed to dad that i'm meeting up with a boy tonight that's 29.. eeep.
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
i wanna look like amelia when i'm her age
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
morals, and honesty.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
n, can't say i do.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
lust... AND envy.
|oooooh, i remember this day!
||[06 Nov 2004|01:03pm]
i just found this in my old, old journal. it still makes sense. and it still makes me feel the same. tis crazy. grrrrrrrr...
it's also funny how the thing that used to make certain things so appealing can also be the downfall of their appeal. i saw him again today. on the street. we chatted, then went into gloria jeans and chatted more. he wanted to go to the movies but i didn't want to so he said he was gonna go to work. i didn't want him to, so we chatted a bit more on the street. then he left and said he'd think of a place where we could go and give me a call. he rang. he was still wanting the movies. so we went. i dun know what we saw. he got us free tickets. didn't even sit down. stood behind that wall thing at the back of the cinema and picked up and shit. then ended up in the mens toilets. then said goodbye. he said 'i want you to say goodbye' and i said 'forever?' and he said 'till the end of the year'. he said he wants to do stuff with me but doesn't. and doesn't think i want to either. he called me twice after he left. to see if i was ok. he said i have to help him make sure npthing happens again, and that we stay friends. crazily enough, i think i'm actually gonna try and make sure it doesn't. i love him so much, but i dun wanna hurt him. he said he doesn't hate me.
i sent him this message -
:goodbye to you. goodbye to everything that i knew. you were the one i loved. the one thing that i tried to hold onto<<michelle branch: thought i'd say goodbye the same way i said hello - crazy message. i do wanna be friends. i just know it's gonna be odd for a while. *meow*. jae x
the *meow* is because i keep making cat noises lately and he started doing them too. was so cute.
i nearly cried. he knew. feel like shit, but almost relieved. like if he said nothing will happen there's no point hoping it will. if it does - good. if not... we're mates. well, kinda. will be strange as fuck but meh...
also messaged pat this morning. his said -
i'm sorry for the position that always running to you about sg put you in. i honestly had no idea how rude and naive i was. i do now :-/ i'm so sorry pat. jae x
he replied -
so yeah. hope it is. for the first time in so long - i'm on the right side of both sg and pat, on the same day. i'm usually fighting with/being ignored by one or the other... often both.
mens toilets stink.
oh yeah, the 'appeal' thing was that it's wrong. used to make it fun. now it makes it scary. he said i've grown up. that i seem older. that i've changed. that he can see it but i can't. i dunno.
||[06 Nov 2004|12:49pm]
i just found this lyric, tis so good. mmm...
be right back after this, the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophy.
x <--- the unaviodable kiss :)
|ooh baby i gots myself a date :)
||[05 Nov 2004|05:49pm]
am going to limelight with a boy called troy. who is 29 [which i am thinking is ok...?] and he has dreaddies. chantal [remember he jo? that one, from the dog] gave him my number and he's interested and yeah.
arrrrrgggghhh i'm SO scared.
*makes note to not be a drunken fool.
he just messaged me and he's at the gym :D mmm...
oooh, today is so good!
FUCK YOU GOAT BOY.
|so... i'm starting fresh [or so is the plan]
||[05 Nov 2004|02:16pm]
today, laurence invited me to go out for drinks for his 21st [this laurence fellow happens to be the crush i spoke of that i have NOT seen naked. the story of the other one will come later in this post]. now, laurence is gay. and yes, i had planned to turn him and kiss forever. but now... i dunno. he's so perfect and cute how he is. i just wanna be his friend and hug him lots :D
as for the other one - I TOLD STEVIE TO GET FUCKED :D.
[not like i'm proud... *whistles and rolls eyes*]
he wouldn't talk to me. well, he did but then i asked if he was talking to me and he said 'no' and i pointed out he just did and he told me he didnt mean to. he wouldnt tell me why so i told him to get fucked and walked out. this will of course, mean nothing to him but eh. WHOO!
fuck i'm lame. eh.
things feel good today. i worked last night i'm gonna be drunk tomorrow night and my erams are officially 2/5ths of the way over :D
i haven't written a happy post in ages.
on a low note though - jonesy kept referring to me as paranoid today. he said it once and o confessed to my fears of paranoia and bi-polar and then he kept doing it. i dun like it. i wanna kick him.
and to top it off - i had hot chocolate today [looking back, it would've been very dramatic, and very teen american movie to have tipped the hot chocolate on stevie as i left. this didn't happen for several reasons.
a> it would've wasted my hot chocolate
b> i still want a job there
c> it might've injured him, and him being who he is would've made me pay for the medical bills...
and d> i didn't think of it at the time. i was more focussed on gettnig out of the shop without slipping over, and kept telling myself not to look back at him]
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*i'm just a little bit manic lately
|but you look so good it hurts *sometimes*
||[04 Nov 2004|12:07pm]
i dun know what to write. i wanna stop doing this but i'm so scared to because i know when i stop writing it all just stays in my head and i dun know if that's better or worse. maybe if it stays then i'll have to deal with it, which could be a good thing. but then again, it could make it worse.
the only conclusion i have is that every fucking time i post the same old shit. and it doesn't mean it's not true. everytime i write it i feel the same way, and it all makes sense and it is what i'm feeling. but if i've already written it then maybe i don't ned to anymore.
it feels like i'm kicking a habit or something though, and i don't know why. i feel so much better when i write things down. which has to stop. cause it has gotten me into much strife over the past couple off days. i know not everyone wants to read the stuff i write. i know it's pointless. and i know it doesn't mean anything to most people. but that's not why i do it, i just need to get it out. if people want to read it they can. to be honest i'll never know if they do or not. but after i hand ot over or press send or whatever it's their choice after that. that was the point of writing. it's not as intruding as going up to someone and tapping them on the shoulder, but it still lets me get it all out.
i dun even know why i'm doing this. it's exactly what i want to stop doing.
so, it stops here i hope. fuck knows i'll be back but eh. hopefully not forever.
|too young to hold on, and too old to just break free and run
||[04 Nov 2004|11:54am]
just so you people know, i'll have a new journal at: www.livejournal.com/~jaeski from now on. it will be bornig as fuck cause yeah. long story but this one has to be kept clean and i'm sick of writing this shit anyway.
this one will probably still get used. not sure. for a while anyway.
||[03 Nov 2004|08:40pm]
home town & suburb: geelong [for both]
what school do you attend: clonard. well, did
siblings (named): one bro - darcy.
hair colour: brown
eye colour: brown
do you wear contacts or glasses: neither.
do you have any piercings: ears and tragus. had my nose but :(
do you wear any rings: yeah, one on each wedding finger. one from my daddy and one frmo my mummy.
what shoes do you wear: today - thongs and socks ;)
how are you today: yeah. meh.
what pants are you wearing: trackypants with my pj top. jeez i'm sexy ;)
what shirt are you wearing: my pj top.
what does your hair look like at the moment: disgusting.
what song are you listening to right now: jeff buckley - lover you should've come over
what was the last thing you ate: half a taco. not hungry.
how is the weather right now: eh. tis dark.
the last person you talked to on the phone: dunno. paddy i think.
what are the last four digits of your phone: mob: 4911 home: 1224
if you were a crayon what color would you be: red.
have you ever almost died: was born really early. but no, not physically nearly died.
do you like the person that sent this to you: if i knew who had, i'm sure but i found it on my old journal. so, no.
what's the next cd you are going to buy: dunno.
what the best advice ever given to you: ah, prolly to grow up.
have you ever won any special awards: nah, surprisingly.
do/done drugs: done once but nah.
what sport do you hate the most: hehe. anything that requires effort
how many phones do you have in your house: 7 how poxy.
do you have your own phone line: just my mob.
animals: dog called tessa and a cat called jack
place for a dream house: meh.
have you ever sprained/broken/fracured a bone: fractured my wrist.
who would you tell your dreams to: just my journal.
who is the loudest friend: dunno. prolly hannah?
who is the quietest friend: dunno
is cheerleading a sport: if you're a cheerleader then yes it is :p
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop lollipop: depends what you can do with your tongue ;)
which came first the chicken or the egg: they came at the same time.
do you believe in love: yes
do you believe in love at first sight?: yeah, i do.
do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: nope :(
do you have a crush: yeah.
who is your crush: tis irrelevant. there's two i think. i dunno. today i'm really confused.
did you send this to your crush: nope.
what song do you want played at ur funeral: i dunno. the day you went away by wendy matthews makes me think of funerals, but... yeah. i dunno. possibly that 'only the good ones die young' song... depending on when i die.
are you too shy to ask someone out: well, i'm single, so i guess so.
who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: can't answer that.
boxers or briefs: briefs
curly or straight hair: straight.
either tall or short: taller than me.
six pack or muscular arms: both :p
good or bad boy: a bad one i reckon. i seem to fall for bad people but i don't know why. there's something about the idea of working them out that i love.
either hat or no hat: meh. whats his hair like?
ears pierced or not: dun bother me
tan or fair: tanned.
dimples: um, they're cute but i'm not fussed if there aren't any.
stubble or clean shave: stubble :)and a goatie
rugged or sporty: rugged
studly or cutie: studly.
accent or not: aussie
smart or dumb: street smart
what sport should he play: depends what you consider a sport... ;)
wears pj's or not: meh
lights on/off: off
do you like snow, sun, rain: kissing in the rain :)
backstreet boys or nsync: neither
summer or winter: meh.
cd or tape: meh.
chocolate or white milk: chocolate
mud or jell-o wrestling: mud
skiing or boarding: neither :p
day or night: night
cake or pie: meh
sunset or sunrise: meh
loved someone so much it made you cry: yeah :(
broke the law: well, yeah. but eh.
do you want your friends to send this back: not really sending it am i :p
who do you think will respond: i have no idea :p
who is the least likely to respond: no idea
||[03 Nov 2004|08:16pm]
1. WHAT IS YOUR Job(s): kinda have two. i work for mum, just doing general office stuff with her business, and i work at Warung bali, a balianese restaurant, as a waitress.
2. DO YOU ENJOY YOUR JOB: yep.
3. IF YOU COULD BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR A DAY, WHO WOULD IT BE?: amelia
ONE PERSON WHO YOU SENT THIS TO WHOM IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND: i dunno. i spose i haven't really sent it.
FAVOURITE COLOUR: mint green
DREAM CAR: eh.
Your Name: janeece
Colour of eyes: brown. but i wish they were green
Colour of hair: brown.
~~~~~~~~~HAVE YOU EVER~~~~~~~~~~
Been so drunk you blacked out: not that i remember :p yeah, i have a few times.
Been in a car accident: not except stevie running me into a pole.
-------- FAVOURITES ----------
Favorite Food/s: i want nando's and hot chocolate.
Favorite Commercial: dun have one. except i like the song off the baileys one.
Favorite Movie: quills. pirates.
Favorite Ice Cream: choc chip cookie dough ice cream. and choc-mint. and LEMON gelati. fuck that lime gelati right off.
Favorite subject(s): i dun go to school anymore :)
Favorite thing to drink: vodka
Favorite belief: some things just are what they are
Favorite Song: last goodbye - jeff buckley. lover you should've come over - jeff buckley
Favourite person to talk to online: anyone who's here.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: no.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime: hahaha, nup :p
What's the best feeling in the world: 'tis a secret.
Worst feeling in the world: knowing that someone else gets that feeling now. and loving someone that dun love you back. guilt.
1 pillow or 2: 2.
Words or phrases you overuse: meh.
What are you wearing right now: my pyjamas
Are you happy: nah, not really. feeling better than a few hours ago but eh.
Are you talking to someone online now: nope.
---- IN THE LAST 24 HOURS ----
Cut your hair: no
Worn a skirt: nope.
Talked to someone you have a crush on: nah.
What's the first thing you thought of when you got up this morning? that i wished i din have an exam today.
What do you remember most about your childhood: not much
Where do you ultimately want to live?: meh
--------WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU-------
Wished Upon a Star: i dun do that.
-------DO YOU BELIEVE IN---------
Yourself: oooh, nah. sometimes. but i'm a little kid. gotta grow the fuck up.
Friends: yeah. i guess.
sex without love: yeah. free love baby. who gives a fuck. i dun have a problem with it. i should and eh but i dunno. maybe it's something i'll learn later. sex isn't something i consider to be a big deal though for some reason.
True Love: yeah :D
Closet Monster: nope.
||[03 Nov 2004|04:55pm]
i don't even know if you're readng this.
i know you deleted me but i dun know if it was to piss me off, or whether you genuinely dun wanna talk to me.
i am sorry. i dun know what for. i un know how it turned so quickly. i over-reacted. i admit that. but i still dun know what happened.
|ah, just a reminder...
||[02 Nov 2004|03:58pm]
the peerson i talked of having a crush on and the 'crush' i've seen naked are two diff people. just clearing that up.
that was all.
p.s. - welcome rubymoon. i love you x
||[02 Nov 2004|03:08pm]
[my name is]: jae
[height?]: 5.4" or 5.5' i can't remember. how lame. eh. i'm no giant.
[in the morning i am]: going to sleep
[all i need is]: *all you need is love*
[love is]: butterflies in your stomach each time the phone rings
[if i could see one person right now]: too obvious kids.
[i'm afraid of]: fucking people over that i love. ebing fucked over by people i love. not falling in love again.
[i dream about]: stevie shaving his head. YUCK.
-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R-
[pictured your crush naked?]: yes..
[actually seen your crush naked]: yeah
[been in love]: yes
[cried when someone died]: yeah
[lied]: oooh, yeah. oops.
-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: coke [vanilla]
[flowers or candy]: a bunch of lillies, tied to a box of chocolate
[tall or short]: taller than me
-W I T H . T H E . O P P O S I T E . S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: wedding ring, hands, eyes.
[last person you slow danced with]: i dunno. does falling on someone when there's music count as slow dancing?
[worst question to ask]: "what do you want?"
-W H O-
[makes you laugh the most?]: ph cracks me up, pat is just funny, jae b, stephly, bianca, laurence and hannah :p
[makes you smile]: oooh, laurence
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: stevie [good and bad funny feeling]
[who do you have a crush on?]: um a crush? laurence :)
[has a crush on you?]: ah, no-one.
[easiest to talk to]: i seem to talk to stephly a lot. and ph. and bianca too
-D O . Y O U . E V E R-
[Stay on aim, waitin for someone special to IM you]: nah, not really :p
[save aol/aim conversations]: nope
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: kinda. they get some things easier.
[cried because of someone saying something to you]: yeah. fuck yeah. i cry because of mean sms's for fucks's sake.
-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: nah, wouldnt say best friend. but me and sg were really good mates when i fell for him.
[been rejected?]: hell yeah. oh well i spose no cause yeah i dunno. he knows i want him but he's never turned around and said no. [clearly it is a no though]
[rejected someone]: yep
[used someone]: nah
[been cheated on]: nah
[cheated on someone]: nah, cheated with people though.
[done something you regret]: ah, yeah.
-W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: fi
[hugged]: jack the pirate kitten
[you instant messaged]: stephly
[instant messaged you?] stephly
[you laughed with]: jae b.
D O . Y O U / / A R E . Y O U-
[color your hair]: yep
[ever get off the computer]: sometimes
[habla espanol]: sort of
[smoke cigarettes]: yeah, only sometimes though
[obsessive]: fuck yes
[could you live without the computer?]: nup
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: no idea
[what's your favorite food?]: nando's
[whats your favorite fruit?]: is avocado a fruit?
[drink alcohol?]: mmm... alcohol...
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: both are pretty but eh. i forget to get up.
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional though i usually end up physically sick when my head's sick anyway.
[trust others way too easily?]: yeah
||[01 Nov 2004|09:32pm]
i just accidently knocked the hairdryer off the shelf and then it hit the side of the basin, which flicked the switch and turned it on and THEN it fell in the toilet and i saw a blue spark. i went all shakey and turned it off at the plug [am trying to hint at my responsible approach here *wink wink, nudge nudge*].
ah, crisis over. but my hands are still shakey. ooooh, adventure. almost makes me wanna be an electrician. ALMOST.
a gym? what's a gym?
oh... a gym. :D
mmm... stewie called his baby Byron. i think it's a pretty name. and his g/f's name is deb.
i want to kiss laurence. he's so sweet and pretty.
||[29 Oct 2004|09:04pm]
+ i got a job today. which is fun.
+ i finished my english exam
+ i had gloria jeans
+ now schoolies is down to 2 days instead of 7. still dun know if i wanna go but eh.
+ i had gloria jeans :p
+ i realised i love a gay boy
+ i dun have another exam until wednesday
- i am in love with a gay boy, which can't really ever be good news for a straight girl
- i think i accidently messaged dan last night cause i had him saved under fucker in my phone but couldn't remember who fucker was, so i messaged the number asking. i'm fairly sure it's him. specially considering he din reply. OOPS!
- my friends aren't really friends at all. we just pretend. that sucks dick. we can't even do schoolies without inviting other people. seems fucked up.
- schoolies... i dunno man
- i think of sex whenever i smell gloria jeans...
- i had a dream that stevie cut his hair. and it was yuck and horrible we still had sex and meh. i want to kiss him again.
p.s. hello to fairy_temptress. i like you. you are cool.
||[23 Oct 2004|08:49am]
> >1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? janeece clare allen.
> >2. What COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? red - tracky pants. [my pj's]
> >3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? some shit cartoon and the humming of the computer mmm...
> >4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? m - 4911. h - 1224
> >5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? some poppyseed thing.
> >6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR YOU BE? green :D
> >7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? not too good. not cold, but def not warm. and a slight breeze, that somewhow makes it seem stiller by being there.
> >8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? i have no idea.
> >9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? wedding ring.
> >10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? yah, amanda is my kitten :)
> >11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? not too shabby. but tis too early for me to be awake. tis crazy.
> >12. FAVOURITE NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK? juice. hot chocolate.
> >13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? mmm... double vodka and red bull. or smirnoff black with rasberry. or bailey's. or peppermint crisp shots. or cs cowboys. or vodka shots. or basically anything that will get me absolutely fucked up.
> >14. FAVOURITE SPORTS? flah? sport?
> >15. HAIR COLOUR? naturally? either darkest blonde or lightest brown. at the moment - dark brown.
> >16. EYE COLOUR? brown :(
> >17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No
> >18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES? one bro - darcy, 13.
> >19. FAVOURITE MONTH? December
> >20. FAVOURITE FOOD? i want chicken pizza right now.
> >21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? pirates :)
> >22. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? christmas eve. tis good. andf although all the good memories are for the wrong reasons i still get butterflies.
> >24. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? um... i never have.
> >26. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer.
> >27. HUGS OR KISSES? a hug first, but then both :p
> >28. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STAND? one night stand. well, that's what's happening. i wouldn't mind a relationship cause i thought my head was better but yeah. i dunno to be honest. although i ran into a one night stand... damn.
> >29. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? vanilla coke. and vanilla lipgloss ;)
> >30. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? yah
> >31. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? pfft
> >32. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? pfft
> >33. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? me, mum, dad, bro, tess the dog and jackson sparrow the pirate kitten in geelong west.
> >34. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? none
> >35. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? i dun have one.
> >36. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? none.
> >37. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? haha. last night i did nothing. the night before i was blind at 8.30 in the morn, went to school, was tripping all day long. came home, had a shower, got changed, went to the grad mass, went out, got fucked at the brit, stumbled to eureka, ran into bucket, kissed some boy, kissed another, went back to the first boy and i dun really know what happened but i can guess and then went back to eureka but as we got there my friends were leaving so i just walked off and we went to homehouse. screamed at a few certain radio station buildings on the way, played a game with the bouncer asking him how old he thought i looked before i'd show him my id, went inside. t'was shit. ran into some people. then caught a taxi home.
> >39. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? no :( not MY nose ;)
> >40. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? love... am suck a fucken sucker. but not certain love/relationships. some suck dick. others are pretty and crazy.
> >45. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES HOW MANY? yeah. dunno how many. def 2 though. maybe 3? dunno.
> >46. FAVOURITE DAY(s) OF THE WEEK? sat night/sun morn.
> >47. RED OR WHITE WINE? *shudders
> >48. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? went to a mate's 18th. got blind on champagne [hence the answer to the above question], thre up in the pub, kissed som boy who now hates me. got called a slut by a certain frigid member of society and yeah. pfft.
> >49. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? nope. i want one though.
> >50. LIFETIME GOALS: to be all crazily in love again, with the butterflies and adrenalin and anticipation and everything wth it. the whole lot, AGAIN.
> >51. THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? if i can sleep any more. at all.
||[23 Oct 2004|08:39am]
> A-Ambulance Rides?: 0
> B-Best Friend/s: dunno.
> C-Cried: thurs night.
> D-Dumbest thing you've ever said: mate, how could i chose? i should do all of these as one entry. recently i asked mum if tasmania was included as part of Australia post. she looked at me stupidly and said 'ah, yues' and i dead seriously turned around and said 'what about darwin?'. damn.
> E-Exam results (final): dun have them yet. but they're not looking good.
> F-Funerals attended: one.
> G-Greatest award/accolade received: i finished school :D [yes. i suck. this is the best thing i've done]
> H-Hardest thing you've ever done: i dunno to be honest. calling sg and explaining my parents knew was a bitch, but if he'd been anything but an arsehole it coulda been easier. i dunno really.
> I-Interesting moment: pfft.
> J-Joke played on you: i am a joke.
> K-Kiss (1st): a boy called james. but i dun want that as my first kiss. it wasn't very good :p
> L-Love (1st): stevie - was 16.
> M-Most hilarious thing you've said/done: dunno. am apparently quite funny when pissed. i think i'm just annoying.
> N-Nicest thing said about you: pftt.
> O-One thing the person who sent this doesn't know abt you: amanda... i dunno babe, i really don't.
> P-Paranormal experiences?: none.
> Q-Question you'd most like to ask God: nothing
> R- Regrets: turs night. and a fair few weekends in a row before it.
> S-Scars: hardly any. on across my cheek cause the cat scratched me when i was little. one on the bottom of my foot cause i cut it on slate. one on the side of my wrist cvause i fell over in primary school. dunno about the rest.
> T-Television appearances?: wouldn't know.
> U-Unusual skill: pfft.
> V-Video: mmm... quills. pirates OTC, meh.
> W-Worst trait: random drunkenness.
> X-Exes: ZERO.
> Y-Years from now... meh.
> Z-Zaniest thing you've done: i have no idea. i was probably pissed though.
|cause when you say you will,it ALWAYSmeans you wont.youre giving me the chills baby,please baby dont
||[22 Oct 2004|07:37pm]
1. If I were a month I would be: december. with all the chas of christmas and in the city is so busy and everyone's stressed but there's this excitement and anticipation and there's no school and yeah :) december.
2. If I were a day of the week I would be: saturday night baby ;)
3. If I were a time of day I would be: 11 in the morn.
4. If I were a planet I would be: the sun.
5. If I were a sea animal I would be: a horse running along the edge. and it has to be either all white, or all black with brown on the ends of it's hair cause it's wild and un-tamed. it wuld be a brumby not a horse.
6. If I were a direction I would be: south ;)
7. If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a bed. all comfy and warm.
8. If I were a sin I would be: lust.
9. If I were a piercing I would be: tregas.
10. If I were a historical figure I would be: dead? nah, i'd wanna be the marquis de sard. but i don't wanna die how he did. he's just so... good.
11. If I were a stone, I would be: ruby.
12. If I were a tree, I would be: a christmas tree. all decorated and in am american department store.
13. If I were a bird, I would be: a flamingo :)
14. If I were a tool, I would be: ahahahahahahahahaha
15. If I were a flower/plant, I would be: lily
16. If I were a kind of weather, I would be: i dunno. let me think. oooh, i would one of those warm nights whe you have to leave your windows open cause it's so hot. not annoyingly hot, just warm and pretty.
17. If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a pirate.
18. If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a voice.
19. If I were [a non-human] animal, I would be: a golden retreiver.
20. If I were a color, I would be: mint green.
21. If I were an emotion, I would be: angst apparently. but i dun think so anymore. i've calmed down heaps. i fucken hate it. i'm not angry anymore. just sad. and it's pathetic. but i'd wanna be adrenalin. the butterflies in your stomach. happy ones, not bad ones. mmm... butterflies.
22. If I were a vegetable, I would be: mushroom. the only vege i eat.
23. If I were a sound, I would be: the radio?
24. If I were an element, I would be: fire.
25. If I were a car, I would be: my car. pintara? i dunno. daddy bought it. i love it. tis old and i can smash it and not get in trouble. now, to learn how to drive...
26. If I were a song, I would be: TAINTED LOVE - SOFT CELL.
27. If I were a movie, I would be directed by: simon phillips. *drools
28. If I were a book, I would be written by: me.
29. If I were a food, I would be: meh.
30. If I were a place, I would be: a pub.
31. If I were a material, I would be: tulle :)
32. If I were a taste, I would be: zones. or vanilla.
33. If I were a scent, I would be: pat :) [tommy... *drools*] or mints/zones [stevie's smell *drools more*] the smell of gloria jeans. gucci envy. cigarettes [some. dun know which ones.]
34. If I were a religion, I would be: pfft.
35. If I were a word, I would be: right now i'd be ushbunanah cause i do actually wanna go to bed.
36. If I were an object, I would be: a phone
37. If I were a body part I would be: ahahahahahaha ;)
38. If I were a facial expression I would be: a smirk. or the thing sarah does with her tounge... mmm... sg does it too. actually, USED TO do it.
39. If I were a subject in school I would be: spares. or wagging.
40. If I were a cartoon (no...manga!) character I would be: emily.
42. If I were a shape I would be a: a heart
43. If I were a number I would be: 2
44. If I were the king of the world: i'd want to have a queen
|no smint? no kiss :p
||[22 Oct 2004|07:25pm]
Last Cigarette: last night/this morn. ah, would be this morning actually. grrr...
Last Alcoholic Drink: as above.
Last Car Ride: yesterday.
Last Kiss: last night. yuck.
Last Good Cry: i think last night.
Last Library Book checked out: i dunno.
Last Movie Seen in Theatres: dunno.
Last Book Read: don't know.
Last Movie Rented: quills
Last Cuss Word Uttered: prolly fuck. but who knows.
Last Beverage Drank: alcoholic? woulda been a black smirnoff ice WITH RASBERRY [otherwise i munt] i think.
Last Food Consumed: pizza for tea.
Last Crush: dunno. prolly tigh i guess. maybe. i dunno if i like or not.
Last Phone Call: ross.
Last TV Show Watched: the simpsons :)
Last Time Showered: this morn. well, arvo. at about 2.00
Last Shoes Worn: thongs.
Last CD Played: ryan :)
Last Item Bought: subway :)
Last Download: meh. dunno.
Last Annoyance: my monologue
Last Disappointment: waking up this morn.
Last Soda Drank: coke.
Last Thing Written: um... i dunno.
Last Key Used: MY CAR! whoo!
Last Word Spoken: dunno.
Last Sleep: this morn/last night :)
Last Sexual Fantasy: the last one? :P nah, last one i had i ended up doing, so... meh.
Last Weird Encounter: last night.
Last Ice Cream Eaten: does sorbet in my juice from the juice bar count? if so - mango sorbet.
Last Time Amused: last night when i ran into bucket [boy from wishart's party]. lucky i was drunk and so was he. otherwise it probably wouldnt've been quite so 'amusing'.
Last Time Wanting To Die: i dunno. not for a while. which is good. i think about dying but not in a wanting way.
Last Time In Love: actually i did cry last night, just remembered. on moorabool street. cause i went past bay fm and i was blind drunk. i remember yelling shit up at the building and crying. ooops. um, as for the question - i don't know anymore. i love someone but don't really like them anymore.
Last Time Hugged: last night/this morn
Last Time Resentful: waking up this morn
Last Chair Sat In: this one :p
Last Lipstick Used: i dun use lipstick. i have my dirty hippie lip balm. mmm... paw paw.
Last Underwear Worn: dark pink/fuschia. which was good at the time but i went for a dress fitting and the material is see through so i need new jocks.
Last Bra Worn: mmm... mint green.
Last Shirt Worn: my yr 12 one.
Last Webpage Visited: http://wwwlivejournal.com/update.bml funnily enough
||[22 Oct 2004|04:52pm]
i feel like i should be screaming and yelling and 'whoo'ing about school being over but i'm not. it's cool but i dunno. i'm gonna miss it. lots. classes i can live without but i'm gonna miss the people and the good old times. i think i realised that last night. last night was fucking awesome actually. a few fuck ups but meh. but was fun.
mmm... vodka and red bull.
mmm... double vodka and red bull :D
i poured vodka on lib's head. i remember doing it but dun really remember why. i think she threw/spilt beer on me. ahhhhh... memories.
i wanna write about leaving school but i got nothing. don't think it's hit me yet. doesn't feel like it.
*so make the best of this test and don't ask why. it's not a question but a lesson learned in time. it's something unpredictable but in the end it's right. i hope you had the time of your life*
||[22 Oct 2004|12:43pm]
1.a) Full Name: jae
b) how tall are you? 5.4"...ish i think. dun know to be honest.
2. Were you named after anyone? nope :(
3. Three words to describe you : [today] - hungover, slightlydrunk, tired.
4. Do you wish on stars? nope.
5. Which finger is your favorite: i dun know. don't have one. um... wedding finger.
6. When did you last cry? i think i cried last night :-s
7.Do you like your handwriting? no.
8. Who do you admire? um. pat.
9. What is the #1 priority in your life? don't have one.
10. What is your favorite lunch meat? mmm... chicken.
11. Any bad habits? haha. yeah.
12. What store would you never be caught dead in? none.
13. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? hell no.
14. Are you a daredevil? hell no.
15. Have you ever told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? probably. yeah.
16. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes.
17. Do looks matter? nope. not if it actually means something. if it's just some random then yeah, it would probably help to be sexy but not if i actually like them. which is fucken rare.
18. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone? last night.
19. Are you trendy? ah, no. last night i was blind drunk stumbling round geelong IN MY SCHOOL UNIFORM.
20. What do you do to prevent anger? nothing
21. Are you passive or aggressive? i dunno.
22. Who is your idol/s? patty boy.
23. Who is your second family? i dun have one :(
24. What's your lucky number? 2
25. Do you trust others easily? complicated.
26. What did you play with as a child? dirt.
27. What subject at school did you find completely useless? re.
28. Do you like soppy love songs? No.
29. Have you ever intentionally hurt someone? nah. i do plan to though, fucker.
30. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? yah.
31. Do you feel understood most of the time? nup
33. Would you rather have a sore throat or an upset stomach? throat.
33. Do you know what `sctief' is? no. do you?
34. What is your nickname/s? fuckface?
35. Could you be a vegetarian? nope. mmm... chicken.
36. Would you ever bungee jump? yep
37. Who wouldn't you mind hooking up with: no-one.
38. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? nope.
39. What's your favorite food? meh.
40. Holden or Ford? holden
41. Last person you kissed passionately? um... i dun actually know his name. oops.
43. Birthday: july 25th
44. Who do u have a crush on: no-one.
45. Favorite Colour(s): green
46. Last Person Who Called? jo i think.
47. Saw you cry: i dunno.
48. You had a fight with: jae b
49. You had a drink with: a boy whose name i dun know.
50. You went to the movies with? don't remember i dun go to the movies anymore.
51. Went to the mall with: myself
52. Three places you've been recently: the brit, eureka, home house [three pubs/clubs].
53. Favourite tv show: australian idol! WHOO!
54.Whats the one thing u most regret (in ur lovelife): not havng a love life.
55.Who is a really nice person?: tess.
56..Who are some people you could never forget: lots of people. both good and bad
57. If u could change ur age would u: yep. i'd be 26.
58. If you could change one thing in your life what would it be? me being 26 :p nah, i dunno. probably me getting drunk and doing regrettable stuff.
59. Whats your phone number? 0402 584 911.
60. What do you cry about most of the time? silly silly boys.
61. Who killed Bambi? who gives a shit?
62. Favourite quote? some things just are what they are.
63. Where do you see urself in 10 years? probably the same place i am now. with a few more wrinkles and a few more stories.
64. What's your "word": dunno.
67.Who would u like to sit next to on a plane? no-one. i's want the seat to myself :p
68. Stuck on a desert island with: a boy. whose older than me. and seedy. and a pirate.
69. Any short term goals: no. just to get to my dress fitting this arvo.
70. What did you think of this questionnaire? meh. was alright. i'm tired though.