ragdoll_baby (ragdoll_baby) wrote,

so... i'm starting fresh [or so is the plan]

today, laurence invited me to go out for drinks for his 21st [this laurence fellow happens to be the crush i spoke of that i have NOT seen naked. the story of the other one will come later in this post]. now, laurence is gay. and yes, i had planned to turn him and kiss forever. but now... i dunno. he's so perfect and cute how he is. i just wanna be his friend and hug him lots :D

as for the other one - I TOLD STEVIE TO GET FUCKED :D.

[not like i'm proud... *whistles and rolls eyes*]
he wouldn't talk to me. well, he did but then i asked if he was talking to me and he said 'no' and i pointed out he just did and he told me he didnt mean to. he wouldnt tell me why so i told him to get fucked and walked out. this will of course, mean nothing to him but eh. WHOO!

fuck i'm lame. eh.

things feel good today. i worked last night i'm gonna be drunk tomorrow night and my erams are officially 2/5ths of the way over :D

i haven't written a happy post in ages.

on a low note though - jonesy kept referring to me as paranoid today. he said it once and o confessed to my fears of paranoia and bi-polar and then he kept doing it. i dun like it. i wanna kick him.

and to top it off - i had hot chocolate today [looking back, it would've been very dramatic, and very teen american movie to have tipped the hot chocolate on stevie as i left. this didn't happen for several reasons.
a> it would've wasted my hot chocolate
b> i still want a job there
c> it might've injured him, and him being who he is would've made me pay for the medical bills...

and d> i didn't think of it at the time. i was more focussed on gettnig out of the shop without slipping over, and kept telling myself not to look back at him]

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*i'm just a little bit manic lately
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