ragdoll_baby (ragdoll_baby) wrote,

but you look so good it hurts *sometimes*

i dun know what to write. i wanna stop doing this but i'm so scared to because i know when i stop writing it all just stays in my head and i dun know if that's better or worse. maybe if it stays then i'll have to deal with it, which could be a good thing. but then again, it could make it worse.

the only conclusion i have is that every fucking time i post the same old shit. and it doesn't mean it's not true. everytime i write it i feel the same way, and it all makes sense and it is what i'm feeling. but if i've already written it then maybe i don't ned to anymore.

it feels like i'm kicking a habit or something though, and i don't know why. i feel so much better when i write things down. which has to stop. cause it has gotten me into much strife over the past couple off days. i know not everyone wants to read the stuff i write. i know it's pointless. and i know it doesn't mean anything to most people. but that's not why i do it, i just need to get it out. if people want to read it they can. to be honest i'll never know if they do or not. but after i hand ot over or press send or whatever it's their choice after that. that was the point of writing. it's not as intruding as going up to someone and tapping them on the shoulder, but it still lets me get it all out.

i dun even know why i'm doing this. it's exactly what i want to stop doing.

so, it stops here i hope. fuck knows i'll be back but eh. hopefully not forever.
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babe, forget everyone. i adore you and care about u so much. you should do in life what makes you feel good in life. if people don't want to read you stuff, then thats up to them. this is a journal. u write what u want and if someone has a problem- thats their problem. don't stop doing what makes you feel better. even if all you write is crap... just keep writing... ;)
exactly what jess said. its what a journal's for. and i like reading your stuff and having an opportunity to post back to you with *hugs* and smileys:) and other useless things like that.........................................................................................................................

................. *hug*.... :)

love you lots jaya.

ps. your scrapbook is near finished. i'm actually pretty proud of it. its been neglected in the last, oh however long but its still pretty. i flicked through it before and lots of things i'd forgotten about made me smile. i hope you like it! see you saturday.

MWA! ~joski
i don't know what to say. i guess you could do what i'm doing *Because i'm so fucken awe-sum baby* and just write for the people who want to read what you write, want to make the effort with you, because you like them and they like you. and all the people who secretly don't like you or possibly even hate you and think you walk like a duck will eventually get tired of what you write and leave you the hell alone! it's like natural selection but different...
stevie - "jae, have you had sex?"
jae - "why?"
s - just tell me
j - why?
s - are you a virgin?
j - maybe
s - r u a v j? *laughs*
j - i might be
s - yes or no?
j - *silence*
s - so thats a yes?
j - eh
s - i knew that already
j - how?
s - cause if a girl doesn't answer it always means yes. or that she's gets around. and i dun think that's the case...
j - oh
s - plus... i can tell by the way you walk

hehe. fucker.

i struggle to write 'for' the people reading cause i dun know what they wanna hear. meh.
will just keep typing...

i'm drinking juice. :)
p.s. i din think you were gonna read this one?

*refer to emails, both the confused one and the explanation :D